Two words that nobody wants to really live with. I hear it a lot: "I can't deal with uncertainty. I need to know what's going to happen" and "I need to get rid of this insecurity."
Nobody likes to feel uncertain about their future. Nobody likes their insecurities. But we all live with uncertainty and we all have insecurities. They can be a beautiful part of our lives, if we let them be.
Part 1 is about how to live with uncertainty. What do you need in order to embrace uncertainty?
How do you deal with uncertainty right now? Do you try to analyze and overthink situations? Do you freeze/shut down/give up just thinking about uncertainties? Do you try to control the person/situation to make sure it goes the way you want it to?
But, what are you really scared of? What makes it so difficult?
I believe we are questioning this: "What's going to happen to me if such and such happens?" or "How will I feel if such and such happens?" So we try everything in their power to prevent that such and such from happening - so we don't have to feel the possibly difficult feelings.
What if you let yourself be guided to what is meant to happen? You can face the fears that are holding you back from living your life? Can you imagine embracing your life?
...Opening up our intuition. It's our intuition, our gut instinct, that can lead the way. It's not your thinking mind, your cognitive abilities, your analysis. It your gut! It will take you on a journey that you're meant to have. To better understand your intuition, you must listen to your inner voice.
"I'm not sure where this is taking me but I know this is the path for me. I know this is what's best for me."
Embracing uncertainty is when you walk into a therapist's office.
Embracing uncertainty is going out on a first date.
Embracing uncertainty is calling your doctor's office, even if there's fear.
Embracing uncertainty is talking to a friend about an issue that's been bothering you.
That's intuition and embracing uncertainty. You take the steps that you need in order to go on the path for your life. It may be a different path than what you wanted but it's your path. It will include everything uncertainty has to offer. Vulnerability, sadness, disappointment, betrayal, shame -- but it also means you are open to happiness, joy and gratitude. <3 <3 <3
So embracing uncertainty means embracing your whole life. You can do it. I know you can.
I believe that wounds/trauma/experience stay in our bodies. It resides there until we heal it. What your mom used to say to you, your 1st grade teacher, the bully you had in middle school. It stays...even if you think you are "over it."
When happened to you as a child had an emotional/mental/physical impact. I say this not to scare you but to inform you. Why do you think patterns have repeated themselves into your adulthood? Why do you seem to get the same types of friends "stabbing" you in the back? Why do you get similar types of unavailable boyfriends? Because wounds from the past are coming back up.
The wounds are asking to be healed.
So, the question I always receive "HOW?" How do you heal it? How does that work? It's one thing saying it, it's another thing making it happen.
1. Recognize it.
2. Be Kind. Accept it.
3. Past wounds awareness.
4. Forgive self and others.
1. When people "jab" at you or "make digs" at you now, it affects you in your body. You may get tense, feel pressure in your chest, get a sinking feeling in your stomach. It's different depending on the person. The body reactions relate to the feeling you are getting. For instance:
Guilt might be a sinking feeling in the stomach. Anger might be pressure in the chest. Anxiety might be shoulders and neck getting tense.
Your 1st step is to recognize it. And hopefully, but not always, you can recognize it in the moment.
2. Try not to jump right to your judgment of the feeling. Accept it and comfort yourself through it.
You could do a few things:
Deep breaths. Sit back and relax. Don't react.
Say to yourself - "It's okay." ...Because it is.
Put your hands over the area of the body you are feeling it - and breathing with the feeling. This will comfort yourself - giving you the ability to work with the feeling without reacting to it quickly.
Try not to judge, try not to get down on yourself for feeling it.
3. Look at what this relates to:
Does this remind you of the hurtful words your mom spoke to you as a child?
Is this the same feeling you got when you were bullied in HS?
Did you get this sinking feeling when you didn't stand up for yourself with an ex-boyfriend?
4. And then do you have to:
Forgive your mother for hurtful words she said?
Forgive your HS bully for the teasing?
Forgive yourself for not standing up for yourself?
What part of the process can you start with today? What wounds are you healing in your life now? <3
How does it feel to heal your inner wounds? What does it mean to be fully alive?