I have thought a lot lately about selfishness. That word is thrown around a lot to describe others behaviors and actions. It’s when we look at others and judge the way they should or shouldn’t act.
“SELFISH: devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests,
benefits, welfare, regardless of others.
We can all admit to calling or thinking someone else is being selfish. We may even think we, ourselves, are being selfish. I think we need to have an open and frank discussion about this word. The definition states that it is the devotion for one self, regardless of others. Is that such a bad thing? Where’s the line that makes it a bad thing? And who are we to judge where that line is that makes it a bad thing?
Here are some questions to ask yourself when you catch yourself doing this:
Where does this view come from?
Who are we to determine if someone else is selfish or not?
Do I want to be judgmental?
What do you have in common with this person you are judging?
Could you really be judging yourself?
OR do you have nothing in common with them? How does this judgment protect you from feeling pain/hurt/shame?
Did you used to be like this person in your past? How do you feel about yourself for that?
You can turn this cycle around by asking:
What would it be like if you saw it from this person’s point of view?
What if you had understanding and compassion for this person?
Do you need to forgive this person?
Trusting your intuition