I believe that wounds/trauma/experience stay in our bodies. It resides there until we heal it. What your mom used to say to you, your 1st grade teacher, the bully you had in middle school. It stays...even if you think you are "over it."
When happened to you as a child had an emotional/mental/physical impact. I say this not to scare you but to inform you. Why do you think patterns have repeated themselves into your adulthood? Why do you seem to get the same types of friends "stabbing" you in the back? Why do you get similar types of unavailable boyfriends? Because wounds from the past are coming back up.
The wounds are asking to be healed.
So, the question I always receive "HOW?" How do you heal it? How does that work? It's one thing saying it, it's another thing making it happen.
1. Recognize it.
2. Be Kind. Accept it.
3. Past wounds awareness.
4. Forgive self and others.
1. When people "jab" at you or "make digs" at you now, it affects you in your body. You may get tense, feel pressure in your chest, get a sinking feeling in your stomach. It's different depending on the person. The body reactions relate to the feeling you are getting. For instance:
Guilt might be a sinking feeling in the stomach. Anger might be pressure in the chest. Anxiety might be shoulders and neck getting tense.
Your 1st step is to recognize it. And hopefully, but not always, you can recognize it in the moment.
2. Try not to jump right to your judgment of the feeling. Accept it and comfort yourself through it.
You could do a few things:
Deep breaths. Sit back and relax. Don't react.
Say to yourself - "It's okay." ...Because it is.
Put your hands over the area of the body you are feeling it - and breathing with the feeling. This will comfort yourself - giving you the ability to work with the feeling without reacting to it quickly.
Try not to judge, try not to get down on yourself for feeling it.
3. Look at what this relates to:
Does this remind you of the hurtful words your mom spoke to you as a child?
Is this the same feeling you got when you were bullied in HS?
Did you get this sinking feeling when you didn't stand up for yourself with an ex-boyfriend?
4. And then do you have to:
Forgive your mother for hurtful words she said?
Forgive your HS bully for the teasing?
Forgive yourself for not standing up for yourself?
What part of the process can you start with today? What wounds are you healing in your life now? <3
Trusting your intuition