As I said in Part 1, nobody wants to live with uncertainty and insecurity. However, we all do.
A lot of the work that I do is to help my young clients recognize, understand and find ways to cope with their insecurities. It's such a tricky subject. It's hardly ever talked about.
And who really WANTS to talk about their insecurities? It's uncomfortable and really difficult. But alas, we must in order to help our relationship with ourselves and others.
Sooooo, HOW do you get there? Here's the 1st part. What are your insecurities?
If you don't know, ask yourself these questions and write down the answers:
1. What are 3 characteristics that you WANT to be perceived as?
2. What are 3 characteristics that you DO NOT WANT to be perceived as?
-- usually the answers to the 2nd question give you some of your insecurities.
I've used these questions in my therapy process, usually on the 2nd appointment
Here's the top 5 list I came up with after tallying up from my Young Adult clients.
1. wanted: SMART, STRONG, KIND, CONFIDENT and CARING
2. unwanted: STUPID, NEGATIVE, LAZY, DISRESPECTFUL and WEAK
Can you relate to any of these? And if so, how do you deal with them? Recognize the times where this insecurity was triggered inside of you. Someone might have said something that triggered you to feel a certain way. And when it did...did you isolate? did you try to convince others you didn't have the insecurity? or did you get angry?
1) Try to sit with the awareness of your insecurity. Try to - without judgment and analysis. Just awareness.
2) Then talk with someone you trust. Tell someone who is non-judgmental and is willing to listen. Not someone who dismisses it or talk you out of it. You want someone who will "sit with you" in it.
3) Know that you are not alone. You are not a bad person for having the insecurity. Try to have compassion for yourself. A part of you (your true self) knows that you are not the insecurity. Talk to the insecurity. Say to yourself "It's okay." "I'm okay."
Because you are. <3 <3 <3
How does it feel to heal your inner wounds? What does it mean to be fully alive?